Chapter 6: sadness

Ah, it is truely lovely to witness a miracle, this does depend on how you define a miracle however. I like to think of my gran as one,growing up her father(my great grandad) left the house for another woman, and because he always kept in touch with my gran, this made her unpopular in the house making life hard for her as a teenager. She married her first love when she was 21, when going to war he never returned, neither did her brother. Later on she met Tom (my grandad) and had three children with him - Robert, Ian and Kenneth (my dad) Years later Tom and Kenny both got sick and died within three months of each other, leaving my Gran without a husband and son. But every single day she gets down on her knees and thanks god for the shoes on her feet and the roof over her head, and she smiles and laughs and brightens everyones day. What a lady.
However, there are situations in the world where a miracle needs to happen and it doesn't, people are in pain every second of every hour every day, to think about it constantly only makes you depressed but I often wonder who is doing something about it.
I realise how lucky I am when something happens to me, something just as simple as getting ill and I am taken care of, I get the medicine I need and the attention required, and I think about the people who have no one to care for them.
There have been amazing people to walk the land, people who are self-less and brave, people who have made a difference through peace and the majority of these people have met an end with someone who didn't like it.
As long as human beings exist love will continue , but pain will also.
We are complex beings and sometimes I wonder about God, I wonder if he looks at the world and sighs, and I think about the flood and wonder how bad it was for him to do that, are things that bad now? Perhaps not, It is a tragic person who focuses on the bad but a foolish person who forgets it.
What will it take for the world to take a step back and hold hands? Global warming, perhaps. Ah no, the rich will be the priority to protect I hear from a sad looking news reporter the other night - glad to see we are standing together.
I suppose the simple version of this is to say 'get on with your own life and count yourself lucky' but isn't everyone doing that? so everyone is looking after themselfs who is looking after the lonley?
I do not understand politics and I don't pretend to, I don't understand the trade system, I don't understand maths and my spelling isn't great, I don't have a job and in the grand scheme of things I am no more than the smallest speck. Maybe I will be listened to one day and maybe people will realise and understand what I say - I do believe in kindness and I believe in forgiveness I guess I probably do believe in this world.

loves a raven when it flies

Hello world. I had a great dream last night, really musical. I also had a dream a few years ago where a band name was given to me - I think this all means something.
However, I cannot read music nor write it, I can play though but just by ear. And I can watch someone playing something and pick it up fast. However, needs must.
I just picked up some books for my reading list this month, blimey - choke a horse comes to mind.
Panto rehersals yesterday, my ability to pick music up fast doesn't apply to lines, never mind though, in true amelia fashion, it will most likely be last minute but high standard. Oh how full of myself.
I picked up two CD's recently - british sea power and elbow.

British sea power:open season
I got this CD (partly because it was a massive 3 quid and partly because a 'reliable' source said how amazing it was) Wrong. Morrisey meets even worse talent and the worst drummer, what a blow.

Elbow:Leaders of the free world
I find fopps music choice impressive, as in, the music they are playing tends to be quite good, I think they put a wee note at the desk saying who is playing. This time this CD was playing and it was really good, and the album delivers the same thing, they are like sigur ros+sonic youth , yeah that's quite good, they're like that. Best track - my very best.

I am about to go and climb tinto but I've lost my hiking boots so nike will have to do - what a drag. Tonight I see Gordon and Dave playing, I havn't seen Gordon for ages but he doesn't tend to change these days so all is well.
Off to climb to the top of the world.

Paradise Now *****

Okay, this film is about two men from palestine who are chosen to blow themselves up in israel as part of a mission. This is hands down one of the best movies I have ever seen, when I say the word empathy I don't want people to think I'm behind it, behind the idea of it that means,infact it's the complete opposite, It really illustrates the brainwashing and lies people are fed and how powerful religion can be when put in the hands of powerful people.
Everyone is good in this film, the main plot is that a woman tries to stop them and show them there's different ways to go about negotiating, not for the weak-hearted and not for anyone who has a closed mind about religion, infact, I take that back, It'll change your idea about a lot of things.
It also shows a real good contrast between two different worlds.
Ach I don't know, what a world sometimes.
Yeah, this film isn't in the cinemas, it's pretty easy to find online however - Play.com do it for under a fiver, slice ae that!

Babel is coming soon, I can't wait. More to come.

The Persuit of happyness - ****

I went into the cinemas with my good friend heather thinking I was going to see miss potter, however, after a long process of 'you pick' , 'no you pick' we ended up seeing this. One large pepsi return later, I sat in the cinema expecting will smith to be his usual self, and to go through the whole film thinking 'this is will smith, this is will smith' A) I hadn't seen the trailer - always an uncomfortable position to be in B) I paid almost five quid to have that really annoying breed of giggly 13 year old neddy girl sit behind me and laugh through the trailers - I said to myself if this continues, neither her nor I will be laughing.
Low and behold, I really got into it. This was not will smith as we know him, good lawd was he good in this film - convincing and entertaining, not in the funny way however, thank god for me and my giggly companions two rows behind.
His son, his ACTUAL son is in it, and he's bloody brilliant - the wee swine manages to nearly make me cry in the film - the only worrying thing was that he looks nothing like will smith , moving on.
Thilda Swinton (I spell that brainlessly) Is the only dissapointing one - she seems to play the same , angry hard up working class woman all the time, making the same faces and changing her accent just slightly when she talks, she's not in it for that long however, long enough to convince me not to favour her.
This is a film which I think shows you exactly what the worth of a dollar is, I say dollar because it's american by the way, I've never been someone too fussed about money but then again, I've never gone properly skint.
Watch this if you're looking for an uplifting, don't watch it if you're keen on Thilda.

A flash!

After having a browse through other people's blogspot (clicking 'next blog', nothing glamourous..glamerous...definatly glamourous) I'm going to be doing reviews on this aswell, of CD's, gigs and movies. Don't expect anything professional but do expect 'brutal honesty' - that's not entirely true, I just wanted to say it. Honesty yes , but brutality only occurs when it's deserved, and that's rare, isn't it.
I'll start of with a film I saw on Monday night at the cinemas and move on to a film I watched today so on, there will no order and if the film isn't at the cinema - fear not , I'll say. I don't want people mindlessly wandering into showcase looking for what they will never find. I flatter myself, I know. Read on readers, read on.

birches

So this is the first post, who will read this? Who knows.
I will take this as an attempt to write 'things' about my day, about yesterday about maybe two weeks and perhaps about my feelings on matters, nothing to serious. This is after all the internet and I could be talking to anyone - baring in mind we live in an electronical world. My electricy is different from the lightbulb stuff though.
"If you want to change the world, first let the world change you" - the motorcycle diaries, that's one of my favourite quote, it means alot to me because I've been finding out alot about 'myself' recently, call it that and one of the things I've found (and now I wish I could un-learn is) Is that knowledge is not infact power, and ignorace is kind of bliss. How do I explain this?
As a child, I believed things I now do not, this is normal ofcourse, but growing up, I begin to investigate and so far, all I've found out has been dissapointing.
How tedious and depressing Amelia, I'm not a drag.
People say when I talk I appear to be alot more stupid than I am.
I'll tell you this, readers, who let's face it are probably none at the moment - Don't believe the hype, don't listen to media, don't watch big brother and never, ever, vote the BNP.
I've listened to Jeff Buckley for a very long time, maybe he isn't my favourite but I have a fondness towards him like I have for an old friend, does this make sense? His voice makes me feel comfortable because I know I liked it years ago and I still like it today, and that hasn't changed, and that, world, is the comforting thing.
I am old enough to know better and young enough to get away with getting excited about chritmas, it is an age with many advantages, it's also okay that I'm not 100% sure who I am yet, although I know I will never have pink hair again.